Tuesday, February 8, 2011

swinging the lead

[Since a very unpleasant shark incident(which I will recount when I find the time) Jonny "the Hook" had developed a very nasty twitch, this was brought on whenever he saw a shark.]
Jonny had been given wheel duty, as his cooking skills of late had gone down hill and the meals he had prepared since the shark incident were generally thought to be obnoxious.

It was a rough sea that day and Jonny once again saw that same giant white leap clear out of the water no more than 10 yards from the bow, this so shocked him, that he twitched violently, in the course of which his hook flung the wheel hard to port, this combined with a strong wave threw the boat violently to the left , causing the boom to break loose and shoot out toward the starboard side  of the boat where the captain was standing.
Attached to the boom hung the winching rope with hook, normally  used to bring cargo aboard. By pure luck, as if playing some over sized fairground game, Jonny managed to cast the hook under the strap of the captain`s tabard. In more normal fairground circumstances he would have won the captain, but unfortunately these were not normal fairground circumstances. Things then took a turn for the worse.
In an effort to unhook her safely  by lowering the winch, Jonny panicked and hit the wrong winch button.
As she was in the course of being winched up into the rigging, the boat lurched again under the heavy sea, and the boom quickly swung out right out over the sea ,with the pendulous captain.
Next Jonny hit the right button to lower the winch, it was just a matter of bad timing, that she was lowered rapidly into the angry sea,a moment later she was again hoisted high, banging her head on the boom in the process. At least she is out of the water I thought, but a second later she was quickly lowered back into the sea, this process seemed to go on repeating itself indefinitely, or so it seemed.

I was thinking, `what the hell is Jonny doing? ' Was he really that stupidly incompetent with the winch, or did he think she was a witch? Or was he deliberately using the captain as shark bait for the great white that detested  Jonny so much.'

Then I realised, Of course it was the imminent approach of the shark toward the captain with her intoxicating chum like tabard, that set off his uncontrollable twitching episode.
Finally we managed to drag her back in over the rail, and  As she hung there swaying from the boom like the drunken sailor that she surely was, I thought, everything would work out for the best, as it was about time her tabard had a good washing.
Many times after that day, we would sit below deck playing cards,laughing heartily, reminiscing about the day the captain was "hoisted by her own tabard"
In fact I am sure it was this incident that spawned that now famous phrase.

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